Soft Play (Sc)area

I thought i would blog about something i feel quite strongly about and that is soft play areas, baby gyms, activity centres, whatever you want to call them...they are scary and battle-field like.

Maybe i'm just looking at them all wrong, but here is what i see.

Dont ever go alone, oh nooo you will get stared at by the mommy-cliques, they look at you as if you got three heads..

I went to this new one today and there were not alot of people there to be fair, it was a bit dry, but the play area was nice and big and pretty fun(yea i got in there).

I noticed all the moms in twos, threes and even groups of four or more. I guess i stood out like a sore thumb. This one lady kept staring at me as if i was a criminal i have absolutely no idea why, i was also the only mother who actually went into the depths of the ''jungle'' and played with my child which got a few stares. Yea ok so what? at least i make an effort instead of sitting there clucking like hens about the latest contents of my childs nappies.

The only person who spoke to me was what looked like a very friendly daddy who looked like he was alone with his two kids and he was the sweetest person there. To all the others i may aswell have been invisible.

Now i know you might wonder what im going on about, but, as a mom you just expect other parents to be friendly and its supposed to be an atomosphere where everyone mingles and shares the joys of parenting.

Im not sure if there are any other moms who feel like this, who maybe have been to a play area alone and felt left out by all the little cliques.

Its like being back in high school. And i dunno about you but i hated high school.

If you are reading this and maybe you see a girl sitting alone at a soft play area looking a little lonely, do what i would do...oepn conversation and maybe even have a coffee with her.

After all, we all have one thing in common, our kids, the future generation.

The Things you should know about Twitter.

I have been on Twitter now for almost a year and a half. So you might say im a bit of a twitter expert. I just made a few observations over the last year and a bit and i thought I'd share my findings. You might relate, you might disagree. Either way its MY view and if i have learnt anything, its that freedom of expression is all the rage!

ok so

1) Twitter has 3 levels of usage (a)The occasional updater, you may only come on a couple of times a day. say nothing interesting, have less than 50 friends and are not really that bothered either way. (b)The Mid-way twitterer, you have between 100 and 500 followers and enjoy regular episodes of twitter activity. (c)The complete Twit(i think i personally fall into this category). The Complete Twit updates at least once or twice an hour MINIMUM, you say good morning and good night to your followers without fail. You will be itching to share insignificant snips of information with your followers no matter how minute. You normally have upwards of 500 followers.

What category are you?

2) If you want followers, you need more followers, you must HAVE followers, (and i am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting more followers) you need to utter the three words all fellow ''complete Twits'' like to hear ''TEAM. FOLLOW. BACK.''
Yes, nothing attracts followers like broadcasting the fact that you are indeed with
team follow back. There are two sub catagorys of twitterers. The first half dont get team follow back. They would rather keep their horizons closed and limited. The second half love it, they embrace followback-ness. After all its just polite right?

3)One thing i will say to the hungry twitterers, if you are guilty of the ''only 5 more followers to go please shoutout'' and you do this all day, everyday, i will unfollow you, and so will other people. Ironic huh? oh and the ''i Just lost two followers'' do that and you will lose more.

which brings me nicely to my next point

4)It will baffle me for all eternity why people are so bothered by losing followers. Dont pretend you're not. You are. Otherwise you wouldnt tweet about it or use sites to find out who unfollowed you. I follow people i find interesting and i will follow them up until the point where i stop finding them interesting. If i unfollow you, dont shout me out n shit cos it just makes you look soo sad.
If your ego is that fragile maybe you should close your account.

5) Make money using twitter? i have tried it. It failed. It really is junk it really is SPAM. Noone is going to click your link about teeth whitening or amazing weight loss. QUIT IT already.

6) Your profile picture is crucial to the success of your twitter page. You can also expect the type of followers according to the type of picture. Keep it clean and you might just make some nice friends. Get your body parts out, and you will see all the pervs popping up(literally).
Profile pictures edited with some sort of program that adds glittery writing/pictures and or ''blingee'' icons are just tacky...besides only people under 16 do this.

7) Twitter is just a social network and there are alot of wierdos out there, spotting a faker has become second nature to me. A good example is a tiny picture of a sexy girl, clearly copied from google or somewhere similar and the person will usually have hardly any followers and will talk complete rubbish. Im not sure of the reason for this, i guess people just like to take on other personas for the purposes of stalking. They may just end up spamming you with links that are viruses so clicking on links is also something you should be careful of. Clicking on links promising to get you more followers usually results in you giving up your user name and password to hackers so be careful. There are alot of hackers out there.


If you have any tips you would like to share about Twitter please feel free to share. There are many inexperienced users who could benefit from these findings. So speak up.

Safe Twittering x

Tori xx

An Anniversary To Remember

OK so, i have not blogged for a while, but i had to write down the events of this evening, you just couldn't make it up!

So, me and the OH put our differences aside and decided we would celebrate our third wedding anniversary by going out to a local Indian restaurant. And by local i mean 10 doors away from my husbands work place (he sees these people on a regular basis which made it all the worse).

So, the evening started off OK. Babysitters arrived promptly and we set off on our dinner date. So, it was a bit quiet and there i am eating my poppadoms and all of a sudden CRUNCH! i jumped up having BITTEN what can only be described an an indestructible piece of grit or a seed? anyway...cracked my tooth! really annoyed about this.

So i didn't hesitate in bringing this to the managers attention (very loudly might i add) and he didn't even offer a complimentary drink or anything, despite having told him i have just cracked my tooth!

So anyway we carried on eating and chit-chatting and our food eventually came. Delicious as it looked i decided upon what looked like a nice big juicy bit of chicken for the introductory mouthful.

How wrong i was...i started chewing and I'm thinking to myself ''god, this is dry''

carried on chewing..

Me to OH: OK this is very dry i might just choke..and lo and behold i felt the piece of dry arse chicken hit the back of my throat and just lodge there..it wasn't coming back up and it certainly wasn't going down in a hurry...you know when you swallow and swallow again but nothing happens, it just stays there.

All i remember after that is coming over all hot and that was it...creeping in like a quiet train it hit me PANIC! I'M CHOKING...i motioned to my OH to hit me on my back at which point i saw him staring blank (if not rather embarrassed) and all i kept thinking is FFS HIT MY BACK

Anyway, i managed to stumble up off of my chair and splutter the words ''pat my back, pat my BACK'' (chicken flying out of my mouth as i did this)

He finally started patting my back ( i was literally keeled over the table at this point) and thank god it dislodged and i immediately took a drink.

At which point i looked up, looked around. Oh my god, people were staring. ALL the people were staring! I mumbled something along the lines of ''I'm so sorry'' i was mortified. One gent on the next table just looked at me and said ''oh , don't mind us love you re alright''. Yea do i look alright??

Anyway i sat back down and needless to say i wanted to leave ASAP as the reality of it dawned on me, realising what just actually happened, i was sooo embarrassed i thought ''it would be great if the ground would just swallow me up now''.

Anyway, that's it...two disasters within the space of half an hour, the owner of the place was eyeing me up as if i was that girl off of The Real Hustle. They must have thought i was a right drama queen/scam artist.

We left and made it to the car and both just burst out laughing at the sheer comedy of the whole evening.

It was terrible, but i wont forget it in a hurry!

The Joy Of (Plastic and imaginary) Sex!

Well first of all let me thank 20somethingmum for tagging me in what appears to be, a very fun blog topic! What better than to actually sit and think of guys from the tv you would like to *ahem* play with ;)

Im ready and definately prepared for the job :)

It could go on though...there are ALOT he he

Without further ado i will kick off with my all time favorite:



For those of you who don't know who DAVID BOREANEZ is, he was the rather tasty hunk of man beef who played Angel in the Buffy the vampire slayer show. Now he can bite my neck anyday!

Next up it will be:



To be fair, this one is pretty standard, i dont really know a woman who wouldnt like to be ''trousersnaked''. Britney i have two words for you...you fool!

Third will be:



Bruce Willis. OK he may be a bit old but come on, you still would! He will never lose that Willis charm, raw sexiness and also looks like he can just take care of you forever in his big bulging biceps ha ha :p

Next we have the gooorgeous



Jason Statham(sp?), oh how i love Jason. English charm and just plain macho, but also really funny lol. I will never know what went through Kelly Brooks mind when she dumped him for that ugly guy from Titanic!! Girl you crazy!

OK i feel a bit greedy here (i told you there was alot) so i will wrap it up with one more rather fine specimen of man-stuff. Now this last guy can rescue me and wrap me up in his cape anyday and fly me of to the fortress of solitude(im a geek)



yes, ladies, Tom Welling. Last on my list but he is certainly not least. If you watch Smallville you will probably understand why i love him so much. He is just yummy.

Ok thats it then, i have loads more but i will not bore you by listing all of them :p

I had fun doing this blog and i will now proceed to tagging people! That is, of course, when i learn HOW to tag people!

Tori xxx

Tagged: @Hanabell_ (sharpedgedbubble.blogspot.com)
@Elainescott77 (elainescott77.blogspot.com)
@sezi13 (happymummyhappychild.blogspot.com)
@mumumumumum (mumumumumum.blogspot.com)
@caroljs (mummynew.blogspot.com)

sorry if you have been tagged already, im new to this tagging thing xxxx Enjoy girls!

In The Night Garden-An Alternative View

Here's something to make the mummies and daddies chuckle, it had me in stitches!!!

I just had to post this how many of you agree with whats being said??

''In the Night Garden sadly has the same modern day problems of many successful childrens TV programs:

Iggle Piggle is apparently homeless! Something I think he shares with Upsy Daisy. He has no bed at all at the end of the story and runs around with a security blanket in his paw! Hardly a good example to young children! And who was the irresponsible jerk that cut him loose in a small dinghy to start with!?

Upsy Daisy's bed follows her everywhere and frankly if talking to your bed to tell it to go away isnt neurotic then I dont know what is!

The pair of them obviously have a "thing" going as they are constantly snogging eachother in public, which Upsy Daisy seems to enjoy with a raise of one leg in the process!

Makka Pakka obviously has a serious case of Obssessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He is analy retentive about Polishing and arranging stones in the garden for no apparent reason! The other characters only seem to encourage his behaviour! Crazy! He also seems to have walking disabilities with a wheeled walking frame everywhere he goes! Presumably this is because of his spinal curvature due to being morbidly obese for his size?

The tombliboos seem to be the sanest of the bunch. However even these 3 characters seem to have a trait of exhibitionsim as they remove their trousers in public and prance around!

The Wottingers and the Pontypines I am sure are having neighbourly feuds! They never seem to go out together and when they do the Pontypines have usually beaten them to it and had all the fun, frolics and food for the outing and are now packing up and going home again just as the neighbours arrive!

As for the kids - Adrenaline junkies, riding the Ninky Nonk on the roof whilst it traverses trees and other upright obstacles without a thought for its occupants! Never mind the fact that it looks like a death trap whilst its standing still!

This brings me to the Pinky Ponk. What on earth.....? This machine needs far better navigation apparatus and its interior seems to change size according to its occupants! Either that or it has strange morphing properties for whoever rides it!

As for the Haroos....the first thing that comes to mind is bouncy castles on drugs! Even Dillon from the Magic Roundabout would have trouble competing with these massive spaced out creatures!


But it does leave me wondering what mental health problems children may end up acquiring as a result of watching In the Night Garden!''

xxx

February The story So Far...

Hello Blog, oh its been a couple of weeks. Lots to tell.

February started off on a high note, with the 2nd came Scarletts 2nd Birthday and we had a brilliant day. We had a few visitors and we of course got her a new bed. That's right, a BIG girls bed! Disney ™ Princess and all.




The cake was delicious and trust me to comment on the cake ;) but hey, it was pretty memorable!

We had a cute little party and had some family round. All in all a successful day.

So the first night in the big girls bed didn't go too bad(not as bad as i thought). I was on completely new territory, I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing/saying. So the only thing I could remember was Supernanny's famous ''stay-in-bed technique.

This basically involves putting the child in bed and walking away without any fuss or faffing around. When the child gets out of bed you take them by the hand and put them back into bed and walk away again without fuss or conversation...sounds simple enough right??

I have heard of this being used and the out-of-bed counts can go as high as 50! that's like 2 hours of back and forth.

So anyway, I tried this, and I think Scarlett got out of bed around 5 or 6 times pretty much one after the other and she was, of course, crying and asking for milk and then refusing milk when I offered it. I figured I'd just ignore her completely after that. And yes, she did sleep.

Its pretty much been the same since that night. With a few disturbed nights and crying in the middle of the night etc. Until about 2 nights ago she seems to have got the hang of it now! *fingers crossed*

So in Feb we had, bedtime training.

We also had more EastEenders!! now I cant wait to find out who killed the old Goat Archie. I study every episode and watch so closely but I just cant seem to make any sense of it. Iv had a couple of weird texts suggesting a non-cast member or ex-cast member may be the one who did it. I'm just going to have to wait and see I guess!!

Oh Oh we had the return of Desperate Housewives. <>



Scarlett has really started to attempt *actual* conversations which is great. Ill always remember Feb as the first time she said ''Miss U Mummy'' to me on the phone while I was at work. <3 <3 <3 Adorable!!

February saw the tragic death of Alexander Mcqueen, the marriage of Katie and Alex (doesn't quite have the same ring to it as Katie and Peter but oh well!) the shaming of that footballer guy...

Oh and iv just gotta say Cheryl Cole, if you're reading, please dump Ashley Cole. He's a lying cheating scumbag!

Anyway, Feb isn't over yet. I hope you're all having a lovely Month and enjoy the rest.

Tori xx

January, In a nutshell...

I haven't blogged for a bit and i knew this would happen. I either don't get enough time or i just forget to blog. Which is why i'm probably so rubbish at it.

So January 2010 what can i say about it?

Well i think it took me til January the 28th to finally stop having to cross things out because i wrote 2009. So I seem to have mastered that. Bearing in mind i write alot of cheques as part of my job, it can be pretty annoying when i get it wrong.

What else, oh, i started a diet, and i also gave up the diet. I'm currently on the look-out for a diet that doesnt mean killing myself or starving my body of all foods known to man, and if i ever eat egg again i will throw up!

See i'm a mother, i cant risk having my child think its ''normal'' to be so obsessed with food, and eat really weird, small portions. I need to show her how to eat PROPERLY and Atkins diet has been widely discredited FOR A VERY GOOD REASON.

But anyway, not knocking it, just not for me.

In January 2010 i watched alot of big brother. I got a bit hooked and i did shout and swear at the TV. But that is also over now. (Well done Alex Reid)

I, amoung with thousands of other people got ancy about waiting for the revelation of ''who killed Archie Mitchell?'' well we don't know yet, personally i think its either that mad ex wife or it's gotta be Dot or something! ''oooh i saaay''.

My daughter has learnt soooo many new words and sayings, including ''hello mate''(LOL) and recognising the difference between one and two objects, i can't even list them all. But of course, every day is a blessing and everyday brings a new word or little ''thing'' she does. I just can't wait to see what she says tomorrow xxxx

In January, i have realised i may need to start thinking about expanding mt horizons when it comes to my job, career whatever you want to name it. I really need a direction in life and nobody is happy just floating along are they?

Iv also thought alot about making some new friends and expanding my social circle. It currently includes..well, not alot. I love my friends(both of them :-/ ) and family but i need some people i can really connect with. I havent felt that sort of connection for a long time.

So heres to growing, connecting and learning. Lets hope Febuary is a good one!

Tori xx