January, In a nutshell...

I haven't blogged for a bit and i knew this would happen. I either don't get enough time or i just forget to blog. Which is why i'm probably so rubbish at it.

So January 2010 what can i say about it?

Well i think it took me til January the 28th to finally stop having to cross things out because i wrote 2009. So I seem to have mastered that. Bearing in mind i write alot of cheques as part of my job, it can be pretty annoying when i get it wrong.

What else, oh, i started a diet, and i also gave up the diet. I'm currently on the look-out for a diet that doesnt mean killing myself or starving my body of all foods known to man, and if i ever eat egg again i will throw up!

See i'm a mother, i cant risk having my child think its ''normal'' to be so obsessed with food, and eat really weird, small portions. I need to show her how to eat PROPERLY and Atkins diet has been widely discredited FOR A VERY GOOD REASON.

But anyway, not knocking it, just not for me.

In January 2010 i watched alot of big brother. I got a bit hooked and i did shout and swear at the TV. But that is also over now. (Well done Alex Reid)

I, amoung with thousands of other people got ancy about waiting for the revelation of ''who killed Archie Mitchell?'' well we don't know yet, personally i think its either that mad ex wife or it's gotta be Dot or something! ''oooh i saaay''.

My daughter has learnt soooo many new words and sayings, including ''hello mate''(LOL) and recognising the difference between one and two objects, i can't even list them all. But of course, every day is a blessing and everyday brings a new word or little ''thing'' she does. I just can't wait to see what she says tomorrow xxxx

In January, i have realised i may need to start thinking about expanding mt horizons when it comes to my job, career whatever you want to name it. I really need a direction in life and nobody is happy just floating along are they?

Iv also thought alot about making some new friends and expanding my social circle. It currently includes..well, not alot. I love my friends(both of them :-/ ) and family but i need some people i can really connect with. I havent felt that sort of connection for a long time.

So heres to growing, connecting and learning. Lets hope Febuary is a good one!

Tori xx

My Indian Call Centre Misery

Ok so alot of you may have noticed my incessant tweeting recently about a Blackberry that is supposed to be delivered to me, from Three "3" network (i have a contract and this was my upgrade)

Thurdsday the 14th:
All seemed well, i was happy, i ordered a sparkling new Blackberry 9700 Bold and was reassured it would be in my palm the next day.

Little did i know that this was the start of days on end of torturing misery!

Friday 15th:
My husband was instructed to notify me of my new gadget's arrival the second it got there (i was at work,he was at home). Anyway it got to about 4.30pm and i got a bit worried, so i phoned "3" and was told the phone was being sent, as "agreed", to 23 ****** Place (MY OLD ADDRESS which i left 6 months ago).
I was naturally quite p*ssed off and explained to the dimwits that, the phone must be delivered to my current home address. After much discussion and clarification of the correct address, i was told it will arrive Monday 18th (tut) as DPD dont deliver on weekends.

Monday 18th:
Aaand...no phone. The excuse from 3 was that, the delivery company needed to process the new address (WTF PROCESS WHAT) so i reluctantly gave them my work address and informed them i will be at work tomorrow and i will recieve delivery there. Simple? NO NO NO! it gets worse..

Tuesday 19th:
I'm sitting at work quite blissful in the knowledge that i should, any minute, be receiving my phone, cue several more excited tweets.

I dunno why, but at about 1pm i got a funny feeling that i needed to call 3 and just re-confirm that the phone was coming to my WORK, as agreed previously by some fuckwit in 3 customer services HQ, mumbai.

As i expected, there was in fact ANOTHER mix up and the elusive blackberry was on its merry way HOME not work!
After hours of shouting and screaming obscenities at some guy named Raj, i decided if i leave work early i would reach home in time to take delivery of the phone (as DPD advised me the ETA was 4.15pm-5.15pm) Fine by me.
I informed 3 i would leave work and that i was happy to receive the phone at home that day.
To confuse matters, About half an hour later i got a phone call from 3, informing me of what i already knew, "there was a mix up with the addresses and my phone is on its way to my home address" but not to worry, because he had politely contacted DPD and told them to deliver it at work tomorrow.
I shouted and screamed a bit more and explained that i am satisfied the phone is on its way home. Leave it. No more confusion. They mixed up but i'm dealing with this mix up already. So, I left work early (4pm). At my own expense, might i add.

Arrived home, No attempted delivery card, RESULT i hadn't missed them! Cue more excited tweets and more waiting.

Tuesday 5PM. Getting Impatient, i enter my tracking number into the DPD website and get this message ''delivery information changed @16.40, delivery re arranged for 20th Jan to my WORK address.

I figured that since my phone call with fuckwit number 2 about the mix up, he probably sent the amended details to the delivery company EVEN THOUGH i told him not to bother.

I phone "3" and was on the phone for about an hour and a half, and after much more screaming and shouting and talking to managers and many more fuckwits they apogolised profusely (urgh) and informed me that the phone is now coming to my WORK address TOMORROW (wednesday 20th).

I can't explain the stress and anxiety this has caused me, the endless phonecalls to and from Mumbai, the constant feeling of worry. It may not seem alot to you, but i reeeeeeeally want this phone, i work hard, i'v paid my bills on time for 18months and hell, i deserve it! Its my treat, i have been looking forward to it since christmas. And i'm the sort of person who wants it all, RIGHT NOW. I can't stand waiting as it is. Let alone being delayed almost a week late!!

So i sit here now, with the understanding that my phone will be arriving at work tomorrow. Will it turn up? or will there be another twist? will they send it to f*cking sweden or something.

If anyone receives my package, please let me know!




Sorry for the long, boring rant. I just needed to get it off my chest and this is MY blog so i can write what i like right ;)

Thanks for listening

Tori x

Blog Update.

Hi guys, iv been so buy since the end of last week so my blog hasn't been updated.
I hope you all had a lovely weekend (a snow-free one).
I'm still sticking to the basics of the diet but this weekend i had a few slip ups in the nature of a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes *giggles*

Now, Thursday I had a chicken thigh in the oven with bacon wrapped around it for dinner, lunch I had chicken too. Friday I had an omelet for lunch and for dinner I had scrambled egg and 3 rashers of bacon which is pretty much what iv lived on all weekend.

This morning (Monday) I had 2rashers of bacon and 2 eggs, scrambled.

So all in all I'm sticking to the basics of the diet and not having any carbs or sugar.

I gotta say, I got really frustrated this last couple of days, its been hard not being able to pig out on my usual foods, but I sort of got through it.

I'v also been having major problems with the 3 network, this might not seem very stressful but when your waiting for delivery of a brand new Blackberry and they send it the the wrong address it can be pretty frustrating. So this was Friday, its now Monday and I'm being told I have to wait till tomorrow now for the phone to be delivered to the CORRECT address.

Great, that's just my luck, I'm off work for 3days and they deliver it on the day I'm supposed to work! So I'm losing money because some fool sitting in India can't read!!

Any way, I hope for their sake my phone is delivered tomorrow, cos I wont be a happy bunny if it isn't.

I'd advise anyone against signing up to 3 network tbh. Just don't do it.

Tori x

Day 3 Of my diet

Today was pretty stressful, since my colleague decided to take a day off(thanks for that :/) and I was all by myself in an office with 2 phones a constantly ringing fax machine and all the rest of it! Not cool!

So anyway, I started my day with a nice cup of tea, and then at around midday I had half a cheese omelet. Couldn't enjoy it because I was answering the phone in between each mouthful. I was so stressed out by about 4pm that when the engineer at work came and put an hot chocolate on my desk I couldn't possibly refuse and I drank it! and you know what, it felt so good!

So anyway, feeling a bit guilty I had a pork chop and an egg for dinner at about 7 and that's me done for the day :) I did try and have tea, but I left my sweeteners at work :( boo.

So I'm almost on day 4 and I still don't really feel any difference. I mean I don't feel slimmer and my clothes still fit me the same. So I guess my patience is running thin. I know that's bad for day 3 but what can i say, I'm extremely impatient (hence the inability to stick to any diet in my life)

I'v not drank any water today, I hate it, I will try drink as much as I can from now till bed time.

I feel a bit like a failure, i feel as though that hot chocolate may affect my chances of losing some weight. I guess ill have to wait and see.

Tomorrow is a new day :)

Goodnight all

Tori x

Atkins Day two

Not alot to report today iv had a very busy day today.
My daily food was as follows

cup of tea with cream and sweeteners @ 7am
cheese and bacon omlete @ 1pm
1 pork chop with a fried egg @ 8pm
1 can of diet coke

I feel pretty good, no headaches today. Not feeling any weight loss just yet. But it is early days.

Thankyou

Tori x

Atkins Day one

So today was the first day of the Atkins diet. I started the day feeling quite down-beat, thinking how am i possibly gonna get through the day on such little food and almost zero sugar. But i did it. My menu was as follows:-

Breakfast @ 9am - 3 Boiled eggs
Dinner @ 7.30pm - 1 pork chop
Drinks water and 1 cup of tea with cream and 3 hermesetas.

So, i think i did quite well. I only have one failure which i should probably confess which is, a cup of tea at my friends house(in addition to the one above) which, may i add, had very little milk and no sugars(quite an improvement on my usual 3!) So i'm not going to sweat that too much.

So Day 1 has been a success. I did feel a bit nauseous after the 3 eggs. I think perhaps i should go for 2 or maybe just the one so as not to overload myself on egg too much lol!

Anyways aside from all of that, Scarlett and i went out to Stevenage to see my friend and colleague who has recently given birth to the cutest little girl ever! so Welcome to little baby Imogen and well done to them.
My friend happened to mention that doing the Atkins gives you stinky breath!?!(Not because i have it but just through her experience of the diet) not a good thing. I'm wondering if there's maybe some kind of solution for this without messing with the strict diet.

Anyway reagrdless, i have had a successful day one of the atkins.

Tomorrow i am at the office, so im interested to see how i cope with my mid afternoon sugar dips (normally I'd have a chocolate bar or 3) perhaps i can replace this with a coffee with cream and hermesetas.

Just like to say, Thankyou all for your support by the way

Tori x

Ready Steady Atkins

So, today is the last day of my life on this poor excuse of a ''diet'' i currently have. I said previously that i was going to start the Atkins diet tomorrow. And start it i will.

So today i have eaten a really large bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes(my current staple breakfast), yes its full of sugar and it has all the bad stuff that an Atkins dieter would have nightmares about. So yea, i really am going to miss my crunchy nut. :(

I have also had the usual cup of tea and a few hundred biscuits dunked in. Also full of sugar and other bad stuff. We're biscuit people!! what can i say. My husband rings up, you know,

''I'm about to leave work, is there anything we need at home? Milk? Biscuits? Bread?''(dont get me started on bread)

And biscuits and tea have become ''our thing'' all 3 of us. But nope, no more biscuits for me. Oh and no more tea, unless i'm willing to add some sort of sour cream in place of milk?! And yes i really do love milk. Its all i drink. I eat, drink and sleep MILK.

Ok so i know i'm sounding like a pig here, but these are just the things i live on and it just so happens that these are all the things i have to give up, for now anyway.

Enter, eggs, meat and fish. Luckily for me i can have eggs in any form i want *note the sarcasm* oh joy day one= breakfast bolied egg, Lunch= scrambled egg ... need i go on. But i like egg. I do have a feeling thats about to change though.

Yea so good old protein *beats chest*

This blog may look like im panicking, i am infact just venting. Just coming to terms with the complete elimination of all things stodgy and good.



So i shall retreat now to the kitchen and make myself one last lunchtime sandwich(not allowed any bread on Atkins) and i will enjoy it!!

See you soon



Tori x

Will power is getting a kick up the arse!

Well i told you all in my last blog that i wanted to lose weight. Well since i wrote it i haven't exactly done anything to make sure it happens!

Until today, that is...it all started when i was on twitter (saves the day) and a friend/twitter pal mentioned that in doing the Atkins type diet he had lost over a stone already!!
And its only the 9th!!

So i have really got involved and started asking some questions. And i'v come to the conclusion that I'm gonna give it a try.

I have never ever stuck to anything in my life! I want this to be the first thing i stick to. I have never had to lose weight before so its something really annoying for me to have to do(since having a baby made me fat) :(

I Have to probably go shopping and get some foods that are suitable for the diet, from what i gather this involves a hell of alot of eggs! *nose peg anyone* :p

I think most of you know what the Atkins is, if not, im going to refer you to the aforementioned blogger's page so you can read his explanation cos it really helped me make sense of it. He also referred me to the following site (second one down)

http://osclidoo.blogspot.com

http://www.atkins.com/Program/ProgramOverview/HowandWhyAtkinsWorks


Now i face a particularly tough challenge. Being a mum of a 1 going on 2 year old means that, i just get involved in eating pure crap. Like when she has a biscuit she will always make sure mummy is eating something too :) *bless her*

I think i may have to think long and hard about how i will overcome this. Also when a normal person goes on a diet they tend to clear out all evils from their kitchen, whereas, i have to probably see the same sinful foods everyday :(

I certainly cant expect my husband and toddler to do the Atkins!!

So double willpower is required here i think!

Ill update in a week or so. Hopefully if what iv heard/read is true i will have lost half a stone by then!

My god i'm excited!!

Ill probably start On monday since i dont really have the right foods to do it right now.

Wish me luck

Tori x

My New Years Resolutions.

Now we all do it, we make silly unrealistic resolutions, we know we're never going to be able to stick to them all. This year i thought the best way to avoid failure is to set a couple of realistic ones. Now i'm not perfect. No way.

There are plenty of things i could change, i swear too much, i smoke, i am far too moody and i drive waaaay to fast but come one...a girl has to have something quirky i can't be a plain jane all my life.

So i decided the best resolutions for me were to
1) Lose weight- again with this one i havent set a ridiculous goal, in fact its quite a modest target, i just need to be a size 12 by my 25th birthday in may and a size 10 by christmas next year.. 2 stone in a whole year? cant be that hard right?? so thats that one..

2) Sort out my career- Now this one can be a bit vague, so what i mean is that hopefully this time next year i will be doing a job i like (or at least be studying). I currently hate my job and most of the people here are complete tw*ts, and i pretty much am not gonna get any higher than i already am, so yea, thats resolution number 2.

These are the two things i am most unhappy about in my life right now, so ideally by next year i will be a super skinny einstien :-D *fingers crossed*

I am, as ever, grateful for everything else and wouldnt change it for the world ..

well....i could stand to use the F word ALOT less!!!

Happy new year troopers and i hope you stick to your resolutions. Dont be so hard on yourself if you dont..theres always 2011!!!

Tori x

My 2010

Reflections of a year that's passed.


1. What did you do in 2009 that you have never done before?


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I am TERRIBLE at keeping new years resolutions. I think i had a long list of things but failed miserably at all of them. Iv stuck to a realistic amount of 2 small ones this year. (see next blog)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My colleague and friend had a gorgeous little girl three days after xmas.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not really. Just a distant uncle and my nans-sisters-husband. Noone close though. Thank god

5. What countries did you visit?
In reality, i visited absolutely Nowhere :( and in my dreams i visited Disney world, India and New York!!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Well do you know what, in 2009 i really lacked any sort of ambition. i was trying so hard to get my family life in order i kind of forgot about what I wanted to do, career-wise. I really want to get that fire in my belly, find a new job, maybe study for a new skill..

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Well the 2nd of February which was my daughters first EVER birthday and its also the day we got snowed in up to 3 foot of snow.
I will always remember the AMAZING time i had at Britneys Opening night at 02 in london (circus tour) It was the best!
I will never forget the 6th of may...this is the day we became ''homeless''...(long story)
and the day we moved into our gorgeous flat in st albans which i belive was the 4th of June.
Aside from that im rubbish at remembering dates!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Biggest achievment would have to be setting up home for my little baby girl, i have yet to buy property but its the nicest flat we have ever rented!! (we came from a one room studio)
Also paying off £4,000 worth of credit card debt. That was a good moment!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I feel that i have wasted a year concentrating on bad stuff, when i could have been studying/making money!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No fortunately.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The best thing i bought was a new car. I was driving a right old sh*tter, and got sick of driving around in a 25 year old car with a 1 year old baby. So once things got better i bought myself a new astra which i LOVE. Also very proud of our 42" tv because iv ALWAYS wanted one of those but never been able to spare the cash for it.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husbands bahaviour was pretty admirable, i mean we were rock bottom by may 2009 and without him i think i would have just given up. It helps to have someone to support you and we both got on with our daily routine even in the middle of an absolute crisis!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Behaviour of others that appalled me would have to come down to my ex landlord, he completely ripped us off and left my family homeless. He sigle handedly almost fucked up my whole year.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, Clothes, Car and christmas gifts (i went mad this year)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I know this sounds sad but i got really excited about moving into a flat with seperate rooms.(you'll understand if you've ever been stuck in a rut and lived in studio flats most of your adult life)

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
The song i always think of that reminds me of being in the depth of 2009 is probably the entire Beyonce album as this was in my car for the whole year lol

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

Happier is an understatement, i didnt ever think my luck could change as much as it has in the last 6 months. Im so much happier than i thought i would be.
I think i can honestly say im thinner, not as thin as i would like to be HAHA but iv lost a little :)
Now id definatly have to say richer, at the beginning of 2009 we hardly had 2 pennies to rub together. But, our situation has changed for the better :)


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish id done more with my daughter. I do alot with her now but there were days when we would just sit indoors with nothing to do...i shouldve made the most of this time, and i will in 2010.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish id argued less with my partner. I take my problems out on him far too much. Iv always had a problem with my mood swings.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I absolutely loved this christmas, it was our first proper chrsitmas with a tree and decorations. We had a lovely dinner at home, opened the presents together and had a lovely feast :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Not with anyone other than my husband and daughter.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Ugly Betty, it kept my tuesday nights exciting. I love it so much.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I try not to hate anyone...its stupid to hate people because you just end up bitter.

24. What was the best book you read?
I didnt have time to read books in 2009 are you joking!!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didnt discover any new music in 2009. Still listening to the same old rubbish lol

26. What did you want and get?
I wanted an improvment in our financial situation, and i got it.
I also wanted a new car, and i got it. Happy days

27. What did you want and not get?
To win the jackpot on the lottery
To get a mortgage
To get a blackberry (getting that on the 14th jan)

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Gotta be couples retreat :) Not only the actual movie, but it was the first movie i had been to see with my husband since our little girl was born. So its got some happy memories.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On My birthday, my 24th, i was living in temporary accommodation (bleh) and i was determined to have a good time so i went out to have a pub lunch with my dad and his partner along with my brother and his (now ex) partner. It was bloody hot that day too!!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I guess my year was the complete year, it started with some terrible lows and it slowly rose as it went on. I guess if i could have anything i would take away the first part of the year as i guess anyone can do without being homeless with no money and a 1 year old in tow. It would have been more satisfying without this bump in the road.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Well 2009 was the year i discovered i could be sexy again even after having a baby lol i started really dressing up again and got rid of my trackies and boring black trousers i used to wear!! lol i even showed my legs off a few times. I would describe my style as smart/casual

32. What kept you sane?
My Daughter

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I was really into a couple of tv stars, nothing major though. Im not really the sort of person who obsesses and fantasises about people iv never met.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The expenses scandal. It just makes me so angry

35. Who did you miss?
I missed my nan. I have lost my mother and my nan. For some reason i still feel so sad about losing my nan. I guess i came to terms with losing my mum a long time ago and my nan was there for me when i lost her. So in a way it was double heartbreak losing her.

36. Who was the best new person you met

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Now this is deep, but i have learnt that you really cant take anything for granted. Life is just so unpredictable and as much as we try, it really is out of our hands. One day you can be on top of the world and the next you are under it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
in no words at all, so tiny and small, in love i fall, so deep, my precious love sent from above my baby boo gotta thank you, gotta thank you. (my baby by britney spears)